You’re driving down the freeway on the way to Grandma’s house, going slightly above the speed limit, when a driver in the next lane cuts right in front of you and speeds off. A miracle is the only thing that prevents a catastrophe.
Blood rushes to your brain, your heart starts pounding, and you begin screaming at the top of your lungs as you plot revenge.
That driver who cut you off made the news later that day. It turns out a child on the brink of death was in the backseat as Mom rushed to the hospital.
Of course, you had no way of knowing that on your Sunday afternoon drive.
But should that matter? No, because you’ll never know all the reasons behind a stimulus. What’s important is that space and the opportunity to pause, think, and choose your response.
Viktor Frankl has been credited with the following:
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
Although researchers have not found this exact statement in Frankl’s works, you can feel the sentiment in his seminal 1946 book, “Man’s Search for Meaning”. This epic masterpiece practically kick-started the self-help industry. It’s still influencing high-level professionals today.
The modern-day person who gave this statement serious publicity was the late Stephen R. Covey. It’s been said that Covey discovered the statement while on sabbatical, while reading a book in a Hawaiian library.
Covey referred to the statement and Frankl in his 1989 book, “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”. He said,
“Our unique human endowments lift us above the animal world. The extent to which we exercise and develop these endowments empowers us to fulfill our uniquely human potential. Between stimulus and response is our greatest power, the freedom to choose.”
This concept was the cornerstone of Covey’s successful career.
Many others have debated the origin of the statement, but that doesn’t factor into our discussion.
You probably haven’t given it much thought, but it’s likely you know the importance of pausing after being stimulated and thinking things through before responding.
For instance, you receive an email that instantly makes your blood boil. This shot across the bow nearly takes your head off. You almost destroy your keyboard as you fire back. But a little voice in your head sounds just like your mentor: “Do not hit reply! Sleep on it overnight and revisit the email in the morning.”
Pausing between stimulus and response to think about the situation is a life skill and essential for everyone. The following points are why it’s vital for company leaders:
Self-guidance
- Pauses emotional reactions
- Helps to stay aligned with values and purpose
- Activates higher-order thinking
- Reduces future regret
Situational clarity
- Allows a look into what’s actually happening, not what it feels like
- Prevents small sparks from turning into raging fires
- Creates an opportunity to determine whether the situation calls for patience, action or silence
- Allows them to anticipate how their response will sound to the team
Relational intelligence
- Signals respect that the other person’s words matter
- Models emotional stability that others can emulate
- Builds empathy by tuning into the other person
- Reinforces trust by responding with intention over impulse
Leaders’ way
- Allows opportunity to align response with values, vision and purpose
- Mirrors a culture of thoughtful leadership
- Every pause in the space allows the leader to build resilience for the future
- Keeps the team on course by ensuring mission continuity
The interruption
Bob is leading a company meeting when Sue bursts into the room, “Larry just got into an accident! He pulled out in front of another driver.”
Larry had missed the start of the meeting and Sue called to find out where he was.
This was a critical meeting. Bob was about to announce a new company direction when Sue relayed the news.
Bob went from jovial company leader to a raving madman in less than a second. Most had never witnessed this level of anger. Bob didn’t inquire about Larry’s health; instead, he launched into a vulgar diatribe about Larry’s incompetence…in front of everyone.
You know how this movie ends, or at least the hit on Bob’s credibility and reputation until the movie ends. Bob’s anger had been evident but simmering just below the radar of most employees. The volcano erupted with Larry’s accident.
If Bob had paused to think and choose wisely in the space between stimulus and response, he could have salvaged his reputation and career.
Bob is still a leader today; he’s leading people on natural history museum tours.
One of the healthiest practices that you can build into your daily routine is to pause in the space between stimulus and response.
Many people adopt a word to focus on at the beginning of the year. Words like intentional, gratitude, and resilience are popular. Consider embracing the phrase “Pause and think in the space between stimulus and response.” I’ll be starting my third year with it and I simply write: S____R to help me focus.
The next time you’re driving down the freeway and someone cuts you off, take a deep breath and exhale. You’ll still get to Grandma’s.
ACCA members can read this article and more in the Winter 2026 edition of ACCA Now Magazine online.
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